First Round, First Minute

At a loss as to how to start my blogging career I began thinking about "great starts" or glorious advents to try and gain some inspiration. This was catalysed by the large poster above my desk of a snarling Muhammed Ali rearing over the prone form of Sonny Liston. Not a bad start by anyones measurements but it can be looked at from two points of view. I could be the mercurial, athletic, iconic adonis of the sporting world about to take a stand against a unethical war and give hope to millions the world over. Or I may just be moments away from getting knocked the fuck out by someone far more eloquent than me (I suppose thats what blog comments are for).

Either way "starts" are difficult things to engineer sucessfully as Edward Bulwer-Lytton will be sagely thinking in whatever sphere of existence he now resides. It should be hell becuase it was he, a insipid ,self indulgent twat of an aristocrat, that came up with the immortally shit "It was a dark an stormy night" as the begining of his 1931 novel "Paul Clifford" (many thanks to Wikepedia). Hopefully nothing I can write will ever be as synonymous with bad starts as the work of the Big EBL, as he was known in his hometown of Knebworth, but then I doubt anything I ever write will be as profound as his second most famous gobbet "the pen is mightier than the sword". All that is certain is that unless I try very, very hard I doubt I'll be able to equal his contribution to the English lexicon in terms of offensiveness as it was Bastard-Lytton that came up with the phrase the "great unwashed".

So this blog's fresh begining gives rise to the possibility that I could create something on the scale of EBL's notoriety, profundity or offensiveness. As long as I dont become a by word for risible writing or an aristocratic wanker I dont really care.